I love you.

i love you. i hope u do the same 2 me…i know i’m being
a little expressive…but yeah…i do…i don’t really like
these other people. your words caress things i only
imaged when i was not quite sleeping. i wasn’t
thinking. i was feeling. i kissed u. i loved u. i
washed my hair in your love and then i felt u
sleeping. wow. i hope u love me 2. i really do. when i
laid with u, i felt like the world was almost sleeping.
waking moments were living.
i slept for ever but
i was scared
but i looked in your eyes
i kid you.
i mean i kissed u.
i wanted 2 feel your
—-nest. but
u were still only half-awakey
still sleepy.
i drank your juice
and licked those
and fell asleep with u.

My love extends past my fingertips…

Keep me in your heart
and in your eyes…

Again…

Again…

I lace these digital pages with the sounds I wish u
Could hear, but are forced to view them after they
Travel hundreds of miles thru fiber-optic cables.
Who knows what u receive on your end when I’m through.

Last nite, I had a dream of u, but when I woke up
I was hugging my pillow and kissing my arm.
How I made my little blue pillow and my brown arm look like u,
My mind can only tell, but dreaming of u

Was like tears rolling down my face
And finding their final resting spot my lip
Where u finally rested u’rs as we rested.
I rested my head on your shoulder as I said goodbye
Hope that in that split second my life with u would
Run before my eyes while I was awake so I could
Remember what it is like to be with u.
but I have to wait until I got to sleep at nite.

So I call late
So u will be the last thing I think about and rest my

Voice on your shoulder and let your worlds fill my ear.
Then I can be that much closer to dreaming about
u.

now,
am I making all this up?
I am in

Secure.
In me.

Are u the enemy?

The one who makes me lie awake
At nite
On my back
Thinking of
Wishing of
Dreaming of
Hoping for
Listening to
Lying with
Screaming about
Crying out for
Looking closely
Finding faith in

U.

U told me to get over
It.

Alright.

I woke up

I woke up
Late.
Hoping to hear your finger strokes
On my heart.
I guess I woke up
Too early
For our life
To begin
2day.

I’ll go back to sleep.

And when I get there,
I’m sure you’ll be here.

Muchwords….

I wish I was sleeping right now but I’m not…

I wish I was sleeping right now but I’m not.

I’m sitting on this black chair wondering why I’m am sitting
On this black chair and not in my nice moderately warm
Bed.

I guess I know I’ll get there soon enuff.

Why is it so late 2 nite?
It feels like the day shouldn’t have started yet.

Sometimes I get scared of life.
Cause life doesn’t really seem to be what life could be.
Life only seems to occupy 2%
Of life.
Of enjoying life.

Love.

Don’t u know u can love?
I wish I know how much I could love.
Wish I know how much I love right now.
Crying never really sent those fucked up feelings away
Far enough. I always ended up crying again.

I wonder why I talk about emotions so much.
Maybe cause I’m pretty emotional right now.
It seems like the world is emotion.
Less than we can be.
I love.
Love is so scary
But it feels so good to have it.
I think we’re scared to feel good. Goodness Is Sacred.

It’s something alien to human.

We are taught to
Dominate.

Of offend. To push without knowing who
You’re running into.

I don’t want to push these
People.

I want these people to walk where they want to go.

Are You Still Alive?

Are u still alive?

Look.

Slowly unravel
The hate
revealed.

Brown bodies.
Lifeless.
Life
Is less
Than pride.
Control over
Sources of destruction

But we get by
Talking 2 children
About what happened to
Their mothers.
And fathers.

Don’t they know I’m broke.
Don’t they know I’m black.
Don’t they know I’m inner-city.

I am the inner of the city.
We build.
We work.
We die.
They move.

Leave us to inherit their hate.

Then they watch as it manifests
In white crystalline substances
Inhaled by heads nailed to crucifixes.

Us watching.
Them dying.
Who’s crying for life?

I am crying 4 u,
And living 4 them.

I am kissing
Images of you.
Waiting 4 me to share myself with
u.
want to share you
with u.

can I? I mean, can we?
Fear is not an option…
It’s a given.
But if we walk with it
And talk to it
And don’t simply die with it
It will not control us.
It will be part of us.
Part of new.
Part of u.
Part of me.

Always More

She had a fire that burned so hot I lost five pounds from the sweat alone. Her passion was so serious it felt like she was trying to prove something. She wanted nothing more than to hear the world drown out to the sounds of wet flesh, heavy breathing and her own voice yelling to my ceiling. The flames would burn through her clothes so she got into the habit of taking them off when the doors closed. The alcohol consumed made nights with her seem cheap and naughty like words ripped from the pages of hard-boiled detective fiction in paperback with an eight dollar price tag. I sparked up conversation every chance I could to try to bring humanity to something that was hopelessly primal. But, she was inextinguishable. She was insatiable. She was violins and cellos. She was a full moon over smooth brown hills. She was a pack of wolves. And she always, always wanted more [DIRTY-WORDY].

Can I put that “I”, After “you”…

Can I put that “I”
After “you”….

Can I think I want to be the next letter in your alphabet?

not because I want to impress u,
But because I want to be
a part of your vocabulary.

Something
To express
Yourself
With and
Through.
I want to be the Visine
Of your world
Taking the red out
And replacing it with the color of u’re choice.

Can u run your tongue across me
As you speak?
Then I can feel u in all
U do
And your words
Become more important
Than
Ever…

And u are love and I want to be the love that u want
Me to be.
And even though they call us crazy…

I can’t imagine it any other way…

Is this girl crazy? or “its like looking into the eye of a storm”

…and really though, there came a point where i wondered if this girl was just a little bit crazy. why? because…i couldn’t really understand how we could really begin to have a relationship, a communion of souls, purely through words, expressed through a keyboard, about a stranger. it speaks it bit toward the necessity for humans to connect with each other. we really need each other, even when its behind jail bars or dsl lines.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

its like looking into the eye of a storm

looking into your eye

I see ages for beyond that of
your age.

U slip, slide, lift and glide thru u’r day
I’m sure many men
And women
Look your way.

They want to play. On your ground.

wing on your set and climb on top of u’re slide.
U are their human jungle gym. Cuz they only know how to play with u
Will they ever learn to ask u, 2 talk 2 u, 2 imagine u
When u are standing, sitting, living, screaming right there?
Will them ever love themselves enough to love u?

U love 2 play with and test them and front them and shun them and
Pretend like u don’t care.
But its what u are.

Separation from love
when you are love
is damn near impossible.
And this mission is yourz
Your mission is missin’ each and every one
Your heart has absorbed.

…I miss u 2

“i saw you” or why am i thinkin’ about a girl i met on the internet?

now, i don’t know if you’ve ever actually began sending regular emails back and forth to someone you dont’ really know. not a friend or a co-worker or an old high school friend, but someone in a different state, that you’ve never seen before your life. never ever seen them…yet in your mind:

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

I saw you,

Glimpses
Peeks
Shadows

Of u.

Who are u when u’re with who u’re with?
Cuz with me…
Its never been the same.
Since I met u

Life has never been the
Same
As it was B4 U.

“he used 2 cry 4 love
Never cry 4 pain”
Christopher Tracy said that in Under the Cherry Moon

I am free.
What I want…
What we want
Is choice.
I want to wake up
and be able to go back to sleep again,
If I want.
Don’t we want the choice
To live our lives as such?

Isn’t it a choice 2 be loved?
Not by me
Cause if I did u wouldn’t believe me.
Not the way u see love.
Like its looking 4 u….
The way u see yourself.
Love love. Love. Love .love. Love.love
How could I not feel it?

So as it sit down with u 2nite, wherever u are.
Wherever I am. Wherever I want 2 be.
this is
Real?
I’m trying 2 keep it
I trying to hold it.
I’m trying 2 feel it.
I’m trying 2 kiss it.

I’m trying 2 love it.

Tag…you’re it.
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

DIRTY BEAT # 1: “yo $$$$$$$$$”

go get yo $$$$$$$

they just get dirtyer…

download here:

http://www.box.net/shared/static/pala7ybwoo.mp3